Love is a willingness to sacrifice
by kapsawyer
Summary: Short-fic. After come back from NY, Emma realise that she can't fight against her feelings anymore but maybe is a little too late.


**A/N: English is not my first language so forgive me for the mistakes. I was listening 'October' by Evanescence when I started writing.**

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_"Maybe there's something you're afraid to say, or someone you're afraid to love, or somewhere you're afraid to go. It's gonna hurt. It's gonna hurt because it matters."_ - John Green

Emma walked into the room and find out Mary Margaret sitting on the bed, she was holding a book and when she saw Emma she put the book over the bed, marking a page.  
"Emma, you back" she said, the voice was softer than usual.  
"I couldn't, I did not want to be there."  
"It's like something's missing, right?"  
"How did you know?"  
"Emma, I knew the whole time" Mary Margaret smiled, one that made Emma smile back. "I think was my mom's heart or just the fact that I know you. You're my daughter and I feel, I see things" she got up and walked over to Emma, stopping and holding her daughter's shoulders. "You can't leave with Neal. You are in love with him, in a way that you will never be able to love Neal back."  
"I never cheated you, is not it?"  
"No, never" Mary Margaret looked right inside Emma's eyes. "And I'm pretty sure that you never cheated him either."  
Emma laughed, somewhat relieved to finally speak the truth and a little nervous about what will come next. "That bastard…"  
Mary Margaret smiled, she didn't say anything because she knew that Emma needed to find a way by herself. That's her journey, that's were her obstacles for her's true love.  
Was a knock on the door. They both looked at it and it was Charming.  
"We need to talk" he said.  
"What it is?" Emma asked.  
"It's Hook."  
"What about him?" Emma was suddenly concerned.  
"You should see for yourself" was the only thing he said.  
Mary Margaret grabbed Emma's hand forcing her to look at her eyes. "Whatever you decide remember that the most important thing in all the worlds is love" she pulled Emma and kissed her forehead.  
Emma walked the fast as she could until reach the Storybrooke port. She couldn't see the ship but she knew that was there, he showed it to her once. She was looking for the stairs when she heard Killian's voice calling her name.  
"What are you doin here love?" he asked.  
She looked back and he was standing there looking at her.  
"It was not for you be happy to see me?"  
"I'm always happy to see you" he said with a smirk. "But I thought that I wouldn't see you anymore."  
"What have you done?" she asked.  
"You're always so serious. I think you need a break from all of this. Also I thought you'll be doing this right now."  
Emma looked down for a second trying to figure it out how to tell him. Killian waited patiently like if there was nothing more important in the world.  
"I couldn't go. No, better, I didn't wanna go" she gave a few steps in his direction. "I want you."  
Killian's breath failed and his blue eyes was more deeper than the ocean. Emma stopped in front of him.  
"I wanna be with you" she whispered. "You won't say anything? For someone who have always something to say, you're kind of quiet now."  
For some reason this scared her. He didn't say anything, he pulled her to himself and kissed her.  
She melted in the kiss, giving herself completely. Feeling everything she knew that he was capable of and he was the only one that make her feel that way. It was almost painfull. She could feel in every bone, every vein of her body. She was his, in a way that she'll never belong to anyone.  
It was so much more powerfull than they first kiss. That kiss was cocky, hungry, angry, something was stored inside them screaming to get out. But this one, this was pure, it was surrender to the feeling they had for each other. The feeling that she was trying to pretend it wasn't there.  
She couldn't fool herself anymore, and even wanted it.  
"Emma" Killian sighed in her lips.  
Emma smiled and looked to his eyes. "Then there's nothing stopping us. I swear, I'm completely yours."  
"No. There's something I need to tell you."  
She remembered what Charming said, something was wrong.  
"What?"  
Killian looked away, his arms leaving her body. "I'm leaving."  
Emma's heart sank. She couldn't even think. Nothing that makes sense. "What are you talking about? You can't leave, you'll forget everything if you cross…"  
"No, Emma, I'll not cross the town line. I'm going back to Neverland."  
Emma laughed, though her eyes were filled with tears. "You can't be serious."  
Killian closed his eyes and breathed deeply. It was like some pain hit him and he tried to hide. He opened his eyes and looked at her. She saw then, he wasn't lying. And it was like lost the ground.  
"Why?" she asked, the tears in her eyes finally falling.  
"It was a deal. I made it to protect you and your family."  
"What deal? Tell me and we are gonna handle with this. Is was Gold wasn't it?" Emma grabbed Killian arms. "You don't need to protect me you idiot!"  
"You did the same for me Emma and I don't even asked for it. You just did…"  
"Because I care about you!"  
"There's your answer. Because I care. Because I'm in love with you and I could bare the thought of him hurting the woman I love. Not again."  
Emma could feel the fury in her body. She wanna to punch him, say that he was an idiot and that she was very capable of taking care of herself. But she saw the look in his eyes and knew it that was no going back.  
"But I… I love you Killian" she said.  
He grab her in his arms and kissed her knowing that it would be the last time. He could feel the power of his feelings for her. He thought that would never be able to love again but this, this was so much more than everything he ever felt. He memorized her scent, the way her skin was soft, the way her hair felt in his hand, the way her body felt against his.  
He could kiss her forever. But the forever was waiting and she'll not gonna be there. So that's was his punishment? For what for, he would never understand. But then there was Emma. She didn't deserve this. She didn't even deserve him, he was wrong for her in so many ways that the fact that she could possible fall in love with him was such strange thing.  
Yet going against all of that, she loves him. And he was so in love with her that will sacrifice everything for her.  
"You're not going anywhere" Emma said after breaking the kiss. "You fought for me! What makes you think that I'll not do the same? I'll fight for you."  
Killian held Emma's face with his hand. "You don't have choice."  
"There's always a choice."  
"Not this time. I have to go" he let his hand fall from her face and turned away. "I know that you wanted help me but there's no way out of this. The deal was very specific: I have to disappear or he will hurt you or Henry. He's too powerfull, you know that and he'll not gonna stop after what I did to Belle."  
Emma wasn't listening anymore. The word disappear spinning in her head, breaking her heart. The tears wouldn't stop now. Killian took her hand and placed it on his heart, Emma could feel the heartbeat accelerated.  
"Like you said, I'm yours here from now. I think I'm yours since the day when you bloody bested me."  
"Killian…"  
"Listen to me. Please, we don't have much time" He press his lips gently on hers. "You have my breath caught in my lungs, each bone in my body. You have so much more than my heart. You have everything that keeps me alive." he said every word with such intensity that Emma did lose speech. "I love you beautiful".  
Emma kissed him. Her tears falling over her face and she knew that nothing else could being said. She hold his hand and he press her fingers with his. When the kiss was broken she could feel her everything falling apart, looked in his eyes and the blue it would be the last thing she would forget in her life.  
Killian walked into the ship but before turn away he looked to her one last time. "I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infiity."  
Then he was gone and everything goes to dark.  
_"Emma"_ said a voice but she didn't respond, she give herself to the darkness.

(…)

Emma was lying on her bed, the book that hours ago Mary Margaret was reading was by her side. She open in the marked page and there was a note that said: _And then my soul saw you and it kind of went "Oh there you are. I've been looking for you."_  
She closed her eyes again and the darkness wasn't there anymore. Was a light, and then the light was blue. Blue like the ocean.


End file.
